chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
