Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize