Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
