Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
