Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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