I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
