sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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