Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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