Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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