Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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