if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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