Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
