Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
