I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
