She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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