Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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