you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
