spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
