We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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