so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
