You can't motorboat a personality
operation harelip BJ is a go
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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