Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
