He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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