Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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