So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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