Porn is love you can see.
just tell him i said nine months
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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