I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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