oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
