I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
