I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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