Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
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