Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
