That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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