I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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