We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
