break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
