you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
