Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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