you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
