She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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