I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
