just tell him i said nine months
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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