i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
