im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
