So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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