Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
