I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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