I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
