Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
