you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
